Sad Dads Vol. 1 - A New Life Stage

When I was a young boy...

This October, I turned 35. That’s an official mid-30s number. Yuck. I also happen to have two children under the age of 4 now. Funny, how time flies.

This year has also seen a huge bump in nostalgia-themed events in the scene. This week, Linkin Park released their comeback album after the tragic passing of Chester Bennington 7 years ago, and My Chemical Romance announced a comeback tour next year as a continuation of their 2006 Welcome To The Black Parade narrative.

These bands were hugely important in many of our formative years…and yet here we are, almost twenty years later, celebrating the very same acts, almost retreading the same musical stories (upon first listen of Linkin Park’s From Zero, I’m instantly reminded of early material…which counts as a plus these days?). The huge success of When We Were Young Festival in Las Vegas is also a huge indicator of the power of scene nostalgia.

Those of use who grew up in the emo or punk scenes are now approaching middle age, some with families of our own. The appeal of these bands making a comeback I believe is two-fold:

1. The rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia

   We are reminded of the joy and wonder of youth. Studies show that our music taste tends to stagnate around our mid-20s. It’s no surprise that we always feel drawn to those artists from our youth. It’s truly led to a huge industry these days (all hail the Rawring 20s).

   But honestly, back then, it wasn’t all so rosy gold. There’s a reason that these artists singing about depression, black clothes and being social misfits were so popular with the alt crowd.

   While Gen Z now gets to consume a repackaged, shiny version of emo that appears ‘edgy and cool’, if you listened to Pierce The Veil in 2007, you were definitely not one of the in crowd. Which leads me to point #2.

2. We actually need that emotional support

   Transitioning to adulthood, real adulthood in 2024 is not easy. Especially if like me, you are learning to become a dad. The emotional core of scene music still speaks to the sense of alienation, despair and misery that can often come with the pressure of raising a family in modern times.

   A reader survey conducted by Men’s Health UK found modern fatherhood to be extremely challenging. From hundreds of respondents, they found: “39% of new dads experienced anxiety, 22% experienced depression, 33% experienced outbursts of anger, 28% felt lonely”

   So who could blame you for wanting to listen to that old Amity Affliction record? (speaking of which, they also recently released a ‘Re-dux’ version of an old album…)

In our teen years, much of the lyrics’ themes could be directed at social isolation at school, or maybe some vague idea of ‘the system’ (or unfortunately, some very dated misogyny. More on that in another newsletter). These days, with knowledge and experience, there is a sense of facing tangible problems in the world that only a screamy screamy vocalist in our ears can assuage - the rise of neo-fascism, the climate crisis, toxic masculinity, disconnectedness in communities…

We are a generation of sad dads.

Yet, we still put on a strong front for the sake of our partners and our kids. When we were young boys, we sang about our fathers taking us to see the marching band. Now, the roles are switched, and we must take our own children to see their own marching bands. And indeed, we carry on!

Movember is a men’s mental and physical health initiative. I’ve been doing it for 13 years running. Donate here if you are so inclined to support this foundation!